A Priestly mindset

It has been a while, hasn't it? I do apologize for the very long delay. I have struggled putting into words the work experiences here, but finally some thoughts have been able to materialize (and a very lengthy materialization at that!)  Rachel and I have finally begun hitting our stride in Bolivia with MAP and our efforts to find a place in the organization. Many months ago when we gave an outline of what our work would be here, we presented it knowing that this would most likely be adapted and would change once we actually arrived. One of the best things about MAP-Bolivia is its desire for every cog in the organization to find its place. The phrase they like to use here is: "be a priest of your own life". In a country with a high Catholic majority, I feel like this expression has a great deal of merit for the context. I am not giving a critique of the Catholic Church when I say this (and it is not the point anyways), but in the denomination there is a strong emphasis on the Priest for spiritual guidance. The Priest is not only a mediator to someone’s spiritual life, but when someone places great importance on his or her spiritual well being, the priest becomes the mediator and counselor in other areas of life as well (family, career, lifestyle, etc).  This expression used here really has nothing directly to do with actual Priests or church at all, but it is about taking the metaphor of what a priest is and applying it to one’s own passions and life situation. The phrase made me ask myself: What are my gifts, skills, and abilities? How can I use these to better myself? How can I use these to better others? When I look at the gifts God has given me, and when I look at my passions, how can they align to help me find my place? Where am I most useful right now and what will help me most for the future?

Such a simple phrase, but I have learned a great deal from it here. There is a great deal of importance in finding one’s place somewhere not only through others’ expectations, but through your own. There are so many people in the world who do what they do for a paycheck and security, but who have never really discovered, or have buried such a discovery a long time ago, how to use the gifts and abilities they have been given that truly make them happy. They have forgotten their passions except when expressed through a hobby over a random weekend when they have the time to do it. Look if this is striking a nerve with you, I apologize, as this is not about anyone particular. I have been guilty of this as well. I have been guilty of putting to the side my God-given abilities and passions when I worked in a restaurant for a year. I was hurt by a church I worked for that ripped me away from youth, with whom I had created amazing relationships, for reasons I now understand but will probably never agree with. The hurt they caused me, I see now, made me realize how much I care about working with children and youth, and also made me avoid being put in a situation like that again where I would feel such pain.  

Fast forward to right now. For the past many weeks I have been working in the classroom assisting the teachers and helping the children stay focused on their schoolwork, and explaining to them in my broken Spanish why the answers to their math problems are incorrect. It has been a great supplement to my Spanish lessons as I can practice speaking with the children, but most importantly it has helped remind me of my skills, and most importantly, my passion to work with children and youth.  Over the past months it has become more clear to Rachel and I that development in an international context is definitely the field we want to remain in; but in pursuing the mind frame of “being a priest of your own life”, I have been once again reminded to allow God’s spirit to lead me in the direction of what brings me the most joy in my work for God’s Kingdom. Unfortunately, as one of the biggest things I am realizing about development work is compromise, I cannot guarantee that whenever we leave Bolivia I will be led to a position of youth development, but at the same time it is good to be reminded where God has rooted me.

I have spent a great deal of time talking about the good of this phrase and the mentality of MAP that goes with it, but there are definitely challenges that come with it. The main one being that when everyone buys into this phrase, then no one wants to help you discover how the phrase can be applied into your life.  The fear is that if someone intervened by saying you should do this or that (like a normal boss would), then you could end up following their expectations rather than what you are best suited for.  The problem for us is, sometimes it would be nice to be given direction, as it can be easy to get lost in the shuffle. I might know what I love to do here, but for Rachel and I it is a constant struggle to find our “place” within the organization as a whole, where it is an expectation to find your own way.  We definitely have work to do and have established a good community of friends, but we have moments of feeling like we are on the outside looking in.  Keep us in your prayers as we continue to find our place in an organization that is doing so much for this city and community.

Well that is it for now, thanks for listening.  In a small way I am falling in love with Bolivia and the community we have here.  I have a great story to share with you about Thanksgiving that explains this more in detail, but that will need to wait for another time.