Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Heavy Heart

First of all, we have been in contact with most of our loved ones, but I just want to let everyone know that we arrived back in Guatemala safely. Everything went smoothly, but it was very difficult to say goodbye to our friends and especially our family. Maybe at a later date we will share more about our trip home and how it was wonderful, but also difficult. For now, I just want to say thank you so very much for your prayers! We are safe and sound back in our home here in Pana AND reunited with our adorable puppy! :-)

The past couple weeks Dan and I have been trying to adjust back to life in Guatemala. I have to say that for me it has been kind of tough. While I am grateful to have a job and to live in a beautiful place I am seeing more and more the challenges of life here. There are many frustrations within the organization I work for and coming back into them has been hard. The co-worker I am closest with and also the only other Christian in my office is leaving at the end of July. I know it will be hard without her. One of the biggest challenges of returning and going back to my job has been the heaviness of each day. On any given day I interact with many different people- not only my co-workers (foreigners and indigenous Guatemalans), but also indigenous Guatemalan women, children, and families. Everyday my co-workers and I hear stories of families without food and shelter, stories of death, abuse, and oppression. It can be a lot to handle and coming back into this environment after spending two weeks relaxing, having fun, and eating delicious food has been a culture shock of sorts.

While I was home a couple friends asked about Dominga- a 50 year old woman who was dying of cancer and came to our office asking for help. In May I sent an email out to my whole network of family and friends asking for donations and support through prayer. I am happy to report that Dominga had the much-needed surgery we were fundraising for. You can read about it here. (If you didn't get my email and want to read the original story please go here.)

Dominga after her life-saving surgery 
I rejoice that Dominga got the surgery and is recovering, but there are so many other people in need that it's hard not to be overwhelmed. Just this week I visited an extremely poor family during a sponsor visit. I was struggling to hold back tears as I informed the sponsor that the dark, cold, 10 X 7 foot room was the family's home. For this single mother with three young children this small space was her kitchen, her bedroom, and her storage. It was hard for me to not sob as I translated to the sponsor that the woman and her children sleep every night on the cold mud floor and that when it rains water enters the house. (We are now in the rainy season so it rains daily.)

This week I also learned that my Guatemalan co-worker's uncle is dying. I won't go into great detail, but you can read my friend, Jenny's, blog post about it here. It is tragic when anyone dies, but it is especially difficult when someone dies from something preventable and treatable. Please pray for Rodrigo, his family and for my co-worker, Elisa. We sit right next to each other and she is one of the few Guatemalans I have been able to form some sort of friendship with here. If you are able to support her family during this extremely difficult time I know they would be grateful. As the blog post says Rodrigo is extremely concerned about his family and specifically asked Jenny for food for them- it was his last request.

All this to say that my heart is heavy. It is hard feeling useless in the face of such extreme poverty. I want to have care and concern for these families. I want to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. But I also struggle to find balance. I realize that when I come home I need to relax and disengage, but I can't help but think of the family with nothing to eat sleeping on the ground while I lounge on my cushy bed eating popcorn and surfing the Internet. The differences between their lives and mine are oh so great. I think those of you who have done work among the poor whether in the US or abroad will relate with what I am saying- the differences, the heaviness, etc. Hopefully it makes some sense. I welcome your thoughts and would also appreciate your prayers as Dan and I process our time here and begin to think, dream and pray about what's next.

Thank you for reading!


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